Word up, I’m the Yorkshire rapper Mr B

I love a bargain by one get one free!

Respect to the Services what can I say?

A beacon of hope on the motorway

Just take the slip road and you’ll see

Another world of possibility

I’m laying this down, listen to my flow

Respect to Roadchef and M&S moto

Grab a Ginsters from the fridge

Want a Starbucks? It’s over the bridge

I don’t do junk food, it ain’t my thing

I avoid McDonald’s and Burger King

I would rather pay through the nose

For a pasta salad from Waitrose

I’m a road comic it’s a way of life

I spend more time at Costa than with my wife

I’m the comedy courier, you know me

Listen to my rhymes it’s all in the delivery

I hate the truckstop

It’s dark and scary

Full of big men who are weird and hairy

But they sleep in the cabs

They don’t bother me,

With their flasks of coffee and pornography

The services are always there

You can even chill in the massage chair

But don’t get too comfy because they’ll only allow us

A quick pit stop, maximum stay two hours

Open late at night and when the day is dawning

But who plays a fruit machine at two in the morning?

For most of us the visit is brief

You’ve been holding it in for miles, what a relief!

I’ve had a poo in Knutsford,

A wee in Trowell,

At Watford I nicked a paper Towel

So big up the services,

It’s plain to see,

I love you man,

You’re always there for me.